walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize