No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we should paint friendship bongs
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