To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
