I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So much rum. So many feels.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Success! We fucked roommates!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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