My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I am naked and annoyed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
