I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
