Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
