I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
