i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
