In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
