I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
