Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
