what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
