I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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