If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
