His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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