I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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