there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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