so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
