New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
