I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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