I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
