so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
