New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
