I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
