Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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