I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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