i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
