dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
