I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
