the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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