We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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