Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
