Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think I died a long time ago.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize