Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
