well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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