I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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