just tell him i said nine months
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
