I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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