I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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