how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
