I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
