last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
