so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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