I'm drive I can fine osifer
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize