I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
