if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You took a bar mat shot.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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