I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
