...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
