i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
