Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
