my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
