did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
