oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
