ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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