capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
only you would photoshop your dick
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
