the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
