...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
