He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
