do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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