it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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