All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
