I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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