How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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