Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
