So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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